Hello friends,
It’s been awhile since I wrote, and I’ve been doing some thinking. I’m not living the life that God had planned for me. No, I’m not doing illegal drugs. No, I’m not breaking any laws. Or betraying my family or friends. What I’ve been doing is living in a state of denial. I have diabetes, and sometimes it makes me angry! One of the things that makes me angry the most is the loss of my sight. I have my page magnified up to 200%, and I know the day will come that I will have to magnify higher and higher. My husband says, “Well then I will get you a screen that goes from wall to wall!” He is my greatest blessing.
It’s hard being a diabetic! It’s not fair! I’m a good person! I’ve never cheated on my husband, even in thought. I don’t steal. I’m honest. I’m funny, and I’m generous. I love God. Not a day goes by without me talking to Him, praying, laughing, and sharing with Him. People think I talk to myself, but I don’t. I talk to Him, and now I’m talking to you.
You know what I’m talking about. If you have diabetes, or you love someone with diabetes, you know the battle. Exercise when your joints are screaming. Walk when your feet are burning. Look at yourself in the mirror, and try to love the person who looks out at you.
If you have diabetes AND asthma, then you know another agony. Just as your life has changed…you’re eating healthy; you’re exercising; you’ve lost weight; your sugar is perfect, and your lungs are clear…BOOM! Another asthma attack. Another course of prednisone. Sleepless nights. Prednisone means raging appetite and glucose numbers in the hundreds. It means bloating and weight gain — then starting all over again. It also means dealing with my emotions when I hear the scrawny “experts” insist that diabetics are obese because they are secret gorgers. Well, if I have a chocolate cake under the bed, then the scrawny chicken has a vomitorium tucked away in the attic!.
So I have to think about my disease another way. I have diabetes, and I hate it. I have asthma, and it’s terrifying. These are facts, but they are not my life. I have a life that is precious. To God, to my husband, to my daughters, and to myself. I am somebody, and I still have much to give. I am needed, adored, and loved. These are important bonds that keep me from falling into despair.
So what is life? Life is about giving. That’s all it’s about. God has given me this one life, and I owe it to Him to do something with my life. Do I whine? Sometimes. Do I believe that I have been cursed? No. I think I have been blessed. I have love, security, and my ability. My gift, is to encourage. So I do everything I can to honor that calling.
The internet allows me to reach out, perhaps to someone who is house bound like me or hospital bound like many of you. It allows me to communicate with someone who shares my fears, my hopes, and my dreams. You know my struggle, and I know yours.
We are worth the lives that God has given to us. Perhaps our lives are not perfect, nor are we. But we are beautiful, in the truest way of all. In our souls. In our thoughts. And in our giving. We can heal, instead of hurt, even within ourselves. I know we can, and with God’s grace, we can change our course.
So, now, my friends, may God bless and keep you. He has you carved upon the palm of His hand. He loves you in a special way, in which He loves no one else. May He walk with you, and when you feel His presence, may you reach out and take His hand.
With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com
www.jayelewisliliesofthefield.blogspot.com
It’s been awhile since I wrote, and I’ve been doing some thinking. I’m not living the life that God had planned for me. No, I’m not doing illegal drugs. No, I’m not breaking any laws. Or betraying my family or friends. What I’ve been doing is living in a state of denial. I have diabetes, and sometimes it makes me angry! One of the things that makes me angry the most is the loss of my sight. I have my page magnified up to 200%, and I know the day will come that I will have to magnify higher and higher. My husband says, “Well then I will get you a screen that goes from wall to wall!” He is my greatest blessing.
It’s hard being a diabetic! It’s not fair! I’m a good person! I’ve never cheated on my husband, even in thought. I don’t steal. I’m honest. I’m funny, and I’m generous. I love God. Not a day goes by without me talking to Him, praying, laughing, and sharing with Him. People think I talk to myself, but I don’t. I talk to Him, and now I’m talking to you.
You know what I’m talking about. If you have diabetes, or you love someone with diabetes, you know the battle. Exercise when your joints are screaming. Walk when your feet are burning. Look at yourself in the mirror, and try to love the person who looks out at you.
If you have diabetes AND asthma, then you know another agony. Just as your life has changed…you’re eating healthy; you’re exercising; you’ve lost weight; your sugar is perfect, and your lungs are clear…BOOM! Another asthma attack. Another course of prednisone. Sleepless nights. Prednisone means raging appetite and glucose numbers in the hundreds. It means bloating and weight gain — then starting all over again. It also means dealing with my emotions when I hear the scrawny “experts” insist that diabetics are obese because they are secret gorgers. Well, if I have a chocolate cake under the bed, then the scrawny chicken has a vomitorium tucked away in the attic!.
So I have to think about my disease another way. I have diabetes, and I hate it. I have asthma, and it’s terrifying. These are facts, but they are not my life. I have a life that is precious. To God, to my husband, to my daughters, and to myself. I am somebody, and I still have much to give. I am needed, adored, and loved. These are important bonds that keep me from falling into despair.
So what is life? Life is about giving. That’s all it’s about. God has given me this one life, and I owe it to Him to do something with my life. Do I whine? Sometimes. Do I believe that I have been cursed? No. I think I have been blessed. I have love, security, and my ability. My gift, is to encourage. So I do everything I can to honor that calling.
The internet allows me to reach out, perhaps to someone who is house bound like me or hospital bound like many of you. It allows me to communicate with someone who shares my fears, my hopes, and my dreams. You know my struggle, and I know yours.
We are worth the lives that God has given to us. Perhaps our lives are not perfect, nor are we. But we are beautiful, in the truest way of all. In our souls. In our thoughts. And in our giving. We can heal, instead of hurt, even within ourselves. I know we can, and with God’s grace, we can change our course.
So, now, my friends, may God bless and keep you. He has you carved upon the palm of His hand. He loves you in a special way, in which He loves no one else. May He walk with you, and when you feel His presence, may you reach out and take His hand.
With love,
Jaye Lewis
www.entertainingangels.org
www.entertainingangelsencouragingwords.blogspot.com
www.jayelewisliliesofthefield.blogspot.com
