Hello friends,
Today is a beautiful day! Cool and dry, for a change, the breeze is like a cool caress to my soul. It’s not often that we have heavy, humid weather, but we have had it this spring and summer. And the rain! It’s been like a tropical rain forest. Our gardens look like jungles, out of which tigers and elephants – albeit little tigers and elephants − will emerge.
We have had a ground hog set-up shop in our old pool area, where we are building a secret garden, a perfect place to go in the cool of the morning, to drink a cup of coffee or tea, and just dream. However, we’ve a long way to go. So under the cement, this little (and I do mean little) ground hog began tunneling to his or her heart’s content. Naturally we fell in love with the little thing, and fed it bananas and other kinds of yummy fruits. If you’ve ever wondered, ground hogs LOVE bananas.
We couldn’t keep her, of course, even though we gave her a name – Katie. So, we borrowed a live trap, baited it with bananas, and she was inside within an hour. Then, my husband and daughter drove to a no-hunting forest preserve, and they found the perfect spot. Close to a tumbling creek, a picnic area, and filled with clusters of boulders, they set Katie loose. As though reading their hopeful minds, she headed straight for two large boulders which had fallen together eons ago, forming a tee-pee, and a perfect shelter for her, while she dug her tunnel system. If she is a female, she’s already mated, and there she will raise her litter. My dear husband and daughter took pictures, and it is truly a beautiful, safe place.
You may be wondering why I should include this heartwarming story in my diabetes blog. Well, it occurred to me that often we diabetics forget to enjoy life to its fullest. We forget to dream, as we listen to the insults that naturally are hurled at us, because often we are overweight – like we don’t know that. We struggle with diet and exercise, while adjusting medications or insulin. All too often, we become lost in our anxieties, and we forget to look out of that dark place, and we miss the beauty around us, as well as within.
I haven’t been able to run or skip, which I used to do, even in my fifties. No, I’ve never been a “runner,” but I loved to run with my weenie dog, down the hill. Well, the last time I ran “down the hill,” which is at a near 45 degree angle, I fell and rolled, all the way to the bottom, over rocks and into the pine needles. I was picking pine needles from my underwear for hours. My socks were stuck with so many pine needle parts, I looked like I was walking on porcupines! I laughed for days, and every once in a while, when I relive the story, I laugh again.
I have had five asthma attacks in the last fourteen months. My blood sugar, due to prednisone, has been well over 300 at times. When I was at the height of my asthma attacks, my blood sugar was nearly 600. The medical consensus of opinion, for asthmatics with diabetes, or the reverse, is that there is no consensus. The combined disease — asthma and diabetes — is considered rare. 18% of diabetics with asthma is rare? Since when has 18% been considered rare for anything?
Through this time, I have been discouraged and depressed, not to mention that I have gained enough weight to classify myself as my grandmother. But I can’t live like that. Living is a thing to celebrate. Celebrate!! I’m still breathing, aren’t I? I’m still laughing, aren’t I? I hope and I dream. Even though my asthma has taken its toll upon my life, and I am now on insulin, I can still appreciate the world that God has given me. Yes, my life is more complex. But isn’t everybody’s? Everyone’s life is complex. Disappointment, depression, and hopelessness visit everyone’s life. Yes, every single life. Especially those who seem so happy and fulfilled.
I have a life. You have a life. The sky is still blue where I live. The grass is still green. The birds fill my garden with song and bright colors. Baby birds are still brought to our deck by their parents. Hummingbirds drink of our nectar, and birds of all descriptions flock to our feeders. My little dachshund is getting older and so am I. You might say, we are growing old together. I am loved by a man who has never had a divided heart. By the grace of God, I am growing old with the love of my life. I have two daughters, who are rays of light to my soul. And most of all, God is with me. I am certain of that.
My heart goes out to the people in the Gulf of Mexico. I grew up in Florida and spent many a vacation along the white sand beaches of the Gulf Coast. As a family, we lived for a time right on the Gulf Coast of Texas, and we lived through a major hurricane. So, this tragedy is very personal. Watching the seabirds and turtles of my childhood suffer and drown in an ocean of tarry goop, just about kills me. I cannot express the horror that touches my soul, for I am helpless to save them. Yet, folks in the Gulf still have a sense of hope; and volunteers, from all across the country, faithfully scrub feathers clean with wonderful Dawn Dishwashing Liquid. For more information, visit Dawn’s website at www.dawnsaveswildlife.com The people of the Gulf Coast are resilient and courageous. They have survived with hard work, humor, and a grace that should inspire us all.
These tragedies do not take place by accident. They take place by human beings who are thoughtless and negligent. They take place by pushing the envelope of safety hard, and without mercy. Now people are dead, and an entire ecosystem is in jeopardy. I’ve barely touched on the effects of this oil deluge. Our leaders in Washington? Oh please! Whether left or right leaning, they care about one thing: getting elected and keeping their jobs. Except for a very few, they are bought and sold by money, and it doesn’t matter where it comes from. One thing is for certain, they don’t care about you or me, and sometimes, I think, they care little about our country.
I try not to live a life of negativity. Yes, I am medically complicated, as a doctor once told me. I don’t want to be medically challenged. I’d love to be able to walk five miles, like I used to. I can’t. So, I ride the stationery bike, two miles yesterday, maybe more today. I can’t eat anything I want, then walk it off. So, I eat a little bit of what I want and bike it off, at least that’s what I hope. I’m not going to be thin again. I’ve accepted that. But I can be lovely as I am. I can look at myself through new eyes. I can stop feeling sorry for myself. I can love more, and I can laugh more.
Why have we become obsessed with Hollywood’s image of what is healthy? Why do we look at our self-worth, by what we think we see in the mirror? Is that how shallow we have become? Are we not yet sick and tired of pod-people who stretch themselves so tight, they can no longer smile? Believe me, the pretense of perfection is far worse than diabetes. The idolatry of self is an empty religion indeed. After all, that image in the glass, as St. Paul said, is seeing “through a glass darkly,” like looking at your image in the dark. Do we really want that?
So, let’s put some love on our faces, and celebrate the music of laughter. Let sunshine into your soul, and realize that this life is temporary. What we give away, to those in need, is what we take with us when we die. Take care of yourself. Eat healthy foods. Exercise by doing what is enjoyable, whether it be dancing, horseback riding, mowing the lawn, gardening, walking, running, or anything else that makes you feel good.. And when you can’t do that, then put your feet up until you can get moving again.
Mainly, don’t give up. We live in new times. There are dedicated scientists who are seeking new medications and even cures, out of love for a parent, a sibling, a grandparent or some other loved one who years ago, did not survive our disease. I won’t believe that my lot in life is terrible. I won’t say that my life is hopeless. I won’t listen to the ignorant people, who parrot other ignorant people, just so that they can say ugly things about me. I am not ugly. I am beautiful. I breathe. I pray. I love. And I have hope. I will survive. And you are a survivor, too.
Father in heaven, grant us the grace to see ourselves through Your eyes. May we laugh at the absurdities of life and celebrate the beautiful. May we close our ears to the taunts of those whose ignorant words say more about them than they say about us. May we understand that doing the best we can is enough. May we believe that small achievement is success. And may our courage always give You the praise, the honor, and the glory. Forever.
With love, Jaye Lewis
