Before God spoke the universe into existence He knew my name.
Before He created the atmosphere He held me in His heart.
Before He created the oceans, the land, the plants and creeping things He chose the color of my hair.
Before He created the animals and before He created the first man He loved me.
He placed within Adam’s body all of the DNA of every human being who would ever walk the earth, and within him he placed the color of my eyes.
Before He knit me together within my mother’s womb he cherished the sound of my laugh.
Before I shed my first tear he felt my pain.
Before my sin, my sorrow, and my stubborn disobedience, he chose to carry them to the Cross. He hung there His blood pouring out…for me.
Why he chose to do this I cannot comprehend. God wanted me to be his own child. How can that be? With all of my flaws and character defects He wanted me to believe in Him, and He gave me the grace to believe in myself.
God loves me with a fire that can never be quenched. I am special to him, even if I am not special to anyone else, including myself.
I have tried to perfect myself, and I have failed.
I have tried to believe the world’s message, but I have found no answers.
I have followed the paths forged by others only to find disaster at every bend in the road.
Only God has given me the answers that I have sought. Peace. Love. Fulfillment.
The change in my life is not a complicated one.
It’s not about how good I am or how I pray or how often I go to church. It’s not about money or fame or popularity.
I cannot speak for others. They must decide for themselves.
I only know that the world has given me no happiness.
After searching my entire life, I have only been able to find the answers to my questions, on my knees at the foot of the Cross.
© Jaye Lewis, 2003
